we have pet lesbian snakes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
