Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
