I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
