So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dick very happy bro
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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