I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
