Can i not drive my cunt home
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
