I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
