I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
