This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
