If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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