Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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