ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize