Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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