I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
