I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
