butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I still have a little drunk in my system
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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