i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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