never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
