I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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