I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
did you just send me my own nude
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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