u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
