Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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