She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My balls are so social today.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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