It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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