So drunk, too bad you don't want this
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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