allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
