do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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