Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
