I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize