careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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