Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
