I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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