Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
