The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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