talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
