i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
