Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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