don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
