Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
