My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
