you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
