Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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