you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
