Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
