oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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