i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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