I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
