Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
