who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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