we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
