if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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