Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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