On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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