Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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