I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
