Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
