so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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