Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize