hotel room ftw
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
