I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
