Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
