I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
pray to the hookup gods
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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