Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
