i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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