i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
