if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
