I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize