By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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